Weekend Update

This weekend update does not come to you by Tina Fey. I wish.

It's three and a half weeks after my last chemo session and I'm finally feeling myself again. Like really myself again. The myself from before I knew I ever had cancer. I don't feel like I'm having "good days and bad days", but that I just feel like me again. Really, towards the end of chemo "good days" were more like "well, I'm not curled up in bed days, so that's a plus". It's awesome to have all this energy back. And just in time too. Lyla learned to walk about a week ago or so and I haven't been able to sit down since. I'm loving every second of it.

The reason for my delay in blogging is two fold: One, that last round of side effects was a doozy. I know I said I was all happy to be done 6+ months of chemo in 4, until it felt like, wow, I just got pounded with 6+ months of chemo in 4. The second reason is that I've started to repel technology. Sometime in the last few weeks our house computer's hard drive crashed, the monitor on my work lap top stopped working, and my blackberry won't send emails. Corey's off today for his annual chefs-at-large-in-the-woods weekend so I have the run of his lap top for a few days. It feels great to be plugged back in, but man do I have a lot to catch up on, and not much time to do it in.

This Sunday is the Run for the Cure! This will be my first run since I used to do the Sun Run in elementary school. Remember when you were young and just had so much energy that you didn't need to train for a 10K run?? Now I'm most likely going to be walking this little 5K number... how the mighty have fallen. Thanks to everyone for your support of Team Smashlyn. I'm especially thankful to my sister-in-law Jeannie and her friend Jodie who organized the whole thing, as well as to everyone who donated to our team. We were close to $3000 last time I checked. I am sincerely touched by it all.

After the run, it's sayonara to the sisters. Tuesday October 4th is my surgery date. I'll be the first surgery of the day, so hopefully I'll only be in hospital for one night. I'm not sure exactly how I feel about the upcoming surgery. I think I may have floated back into a bit of denial because it all seems surreal now. When I was diagnosed and they told me I had to wait for surgery, I was thinking, "ARE YOU CRAZY??? CUT IT OUT RIGHT NOW!!!" But I've been feeling so good these days that if it wasn't for the bald head, sparse eyebrows and the whopping 12 eyelashes I have left, I'd be able to forget I have cancer. I'm also somewhat feeling irrationally guilty over Righty. She never did anything wrong. Lefty was the traitor. Now they're both going. It somehow seems unfair...

So that's it for now. I just got my t-shirt for the run (i picked a survivor shirt by the way!) and I can't wait to get out there and be part of something so positive for a change. I'll let you know how it goes. Fingers crossed for good weather!

Much love,
Ashlyn